I hate people
I used to always say that
As a kid, as a teenager, as a college student, as an adult…
Those that knew me best always heard something along the lines of "I can't stand that *****"
I ONLY watched cartoons for yearsssss, because I hated people. My family will attest 😂
I hated people because…
👎🏾I hated feeling small and like I didn't matter
👎🏾I hated feeling like everyone was out to hurt me
👎🏾I hated feeling like I couldn't trust anyone
👎🏾I hated believing vulnerability always leads to disappointment
👎🏾I hated feeling like no one listened to me
👎🏾I hated feeling like no one had my back
👎🏾I hated that people just didn't do what I said
👎🏾Mostly, I hated feeling like I couldn't be myself
So I defaulted to the thought that I hate people and truly believed it
🙄I didn't go out to meet new people because duh "I hate people"
🙄I didn't try new activities because "I hate people"
🙄I didn't put myself out there for new opportunities because "I hate people"
🙄I didn't do anything outside of my comfort zone because "I hate people"
🙄It was muscle memory. I didn't even think about it, it just became default
I created a detached experience with not only the people around me but also myself only because I believed I hated people and kept repeating that story over and over again making it that much easier to believe🤯🤯
Thought work taught me how to process what I feel