I hate people
I used to always say that
As a kid, as a teenager, as a college student, as an adult…
Those that knew me best always heard something along the lines of "I can't stand that *****"
I ONLY watched cartoons for yearsssss, because I hated people. My family will attest 😂
I hated people because…
👎🏾I hated feeling small and like I didn't matter
👎🏾I hated feeling like everyone was out to hurt me
👎🏾I hated feeling like I couldn't trust anyone
👎🏾I hated believing vulnerability always leads to disappointment
👎🏾I hated feeling like no one listened to me
👎🏾I hated feeling like no one had my back
👎🏾I hated that people just didn't do what I said
👎🏾Mostly, I hated feeling like I couldn't be myself
So I defaulted to the thought that I hate people and truly believed it
🙄I didn't go out to meet new people because duh "I hate people"
🙄I didn't try new activities because "I hate people"
🙄I didn't put myself out there for new opportunities because "I hate people"
🙄I didn't do anything outside of my comfort zone because "I hate people"
🙄It was muscle memory. I didn't even think about it, it just became default
I created a detached experience with not only the people around me but also myself only because I believed I hated people and kept repeating that story over and over again making it that much easier to believe🤯🤯
Thought work taught me how to process what I feel
And I learned I only feel that hatred towards people because of what I thought about them
And I learned I always get to choose what I want to think #majorkey🔑
I learned that human brains default to focusing on negativity and danger. It's a survival technique: preserve life and safety at all costs; engrained in us as we've evolved, but isn't always useful in this day and age
I now know there wasn't really anything to fear about the majority of the people I thought I hated. The difference between them and the ones I loved is what I thought about my relationship with them and what I thought about how they see me
The story I have in my head about them is what drives my feelings. So why not choose the story that serves me better?
Illustration by @christineowensart
So I dropped the fear, frustration, anger, and all that other shit
Now, I choose to focus on feeling love, and I how I can create more of it
It doesn't matter what anyone else does or doesn't do
They can't make me feel anything, only I hold that power.
The key is me✨
Disclaimer: This process IS NOT overnight and I still hate some people 😅🤣